OpenCalais Metadata: Ticker: 
Photo Credit: Lex Rojas | Daily Texan Staff

Instead of using their laptops to watch Netflix on Thursday morning when classes were delayed, some students logged on to online courses to complete class work. 

Inclement winter weather Wednesday night and Thursday morning led University officials to close campus until 1 p.m. and delay classes until 2 p.m. Thursday.           

Even when the UT campus closed, journalism junior Felicia Rodriquez still had to log on to her Social Media Journalism online class, in which students are assigned to update social media sites during assigned shifts. Rodriguez said she didn’t mind doing her class work even when campus classes were canceled.

“In some ways, I never view Social Media Journalism as a class because it’s just fun for me and I love using social media,” Rodriguez said. “Also, I was enjoying my breakfast at the same time, and I had Netflix on in the background, so it was a very easy ‘snow day.’”

Gavino Abrigo, senior administrative associate for University Extension, the UT online and evening class program, said online classes usually follow what the University does when it comes to cancellations, but, this time, some online classes continued since students could complete their work online.

Online classes appeal most to students who may need extra hours or are looking to get additional credit when normal classes don’t fit into their schedules, Abrigo said.

“Usually it’s convenient in their schedule, and more about the availability of them not being able to attend a regular Monday-Wednesday-Friday class or Tuesday-Thursday class,” Abrigo said. “The reason most UT students take our evening courses is they just don’t have the availability in their daytime schedules.”

One online course, Government 312L: U.S. Foreign Policy, canceled its online session because the lecture is live-streamed.

“Our course is a live, online course with a large production team [of] over 10 people,” Patrick McDonald, the government associate professor who teaches the course, said. “When the University closes, we cannot require them to come to work, so we chose to follow University guidelines.”

McDonald said teaching the class online means making up for cancellations is fairly easy, since professors can tape the missed lecture and then post it to Canvas for students to watch later.

Caroline Hunt, communication studies and human relations junior, said she would have been frustrated if her online classes were canceled. 

“As an adult, snow days are really not as big of a deal — if anything, they can just kind of be annoying,” Hunt said.

"While We’re Young," a new film by Noah Baumbach, chronicles the story of straight-laced, middle-aged couple as they dive headfirst into a midlife crisis after befriending a significantly younger couple.

Photo Credit: Courtesy of A24 Films | Daily Texan Staff

Amid the buzz about “Insurgent,” the second installment of the “Divergent” trilogy, or movies like Disney’s upcoming remake of “Cinderella,” a number of interesting films and series pass through theaters and online streaming sites totally unnoticed. From freethinking robots to zombie beavers, here are some of the most overlooked offerings cinema and TV are presenting this month — the good, the bad and the ugly. Viewer discretion is advised.


Yes, this is a film about zombie beavers. If you derive joy from making fun of other people’s terrible ideas, “Zombeavers,” like 2013’s “Sharknado,” is prime real estate. The film pokes fun at the ridiculous stereotypes of the horror genre through horrifically cheesy dialogue, excessive low-budget blood and an army of crudely stuffed taxidermy beavers. 

Release date: March 20

  1. Where: Select theaters

​Watch the trailer for "Zombeavers" now:



“Faults” bends conventional genre boundaries, combining aspects of a black comedy, drama and thriller into a low-budget film starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Leland Orser. The film playfully deals with the serious subject matter of psychotherapy through the main character of Orser, a “deprogrammer” hired by Winstead’s parents to “deprogram” their brainwashed daughter. Winstead, a cult victim, proves steadfast in her brainwashed beliefs and poses a challenge for Orser. The film, a directorial debut for Riley Stearns, follows Winstead and Orser as they battle for control over Winstead’s mind.

  2. Release date: March 6 
  3. Where: iTunes

​Watch the trailer for "Faults" now:

While We’re Young

“While We’re Young,” a film indie legend Noah Baumbach wrote, directed and produced, chronicles the story of straight-laced, middle-aged couple, played by Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts, as they dive headfirst into a midlife crisis after befriending a significantly younger couple, played by Adam Driver and Amanda Seyfried.

In a write-up for Toronto International Film Festival, writer Cameron Bailey wrote that the film perfectly encapsulates the paradox of modern urban sophisticates: the older generations embracing iPhones and Netflix and the younger discovering vinyl and vintage VHS tapes.

  2. National release date: March 27 
  3. Where: Violet Crown Cinema

Watch the official teaser trailer for "While We're Young" here:


Sci-fi vet Neill Blomkamp, known for “Elysium” and “District 9,” directs the emotional action-thriller, “Chappie,” which follows a young robot set in the near future. “Chappie” tells the story of the first sentient robot, who fights for his life against Hugh Jackman, a corrupt law enforcer who wants to destroy him. Surprisingly, the MPAA has given the movie an R rating for violence, language and nudity, raising many questions as to who might be stripping down in a film in which the main character is a robot.

  2. National release date: March 6
  3. Where: Major Austin movie theaters

Check out the trailer for "Chappie" here:


Netflix will strategically releases its new thriller-drama series, “Bloodline,” just three weeks after “House of Cards”’ third season premiere in hopes of keeping all the binge-watching couch potatoes’ attention. From the creators of “Damages,” the series follows Kyle Chandler and his prominent Floridian family as their world is rocked by the return of the renegade eldest brother, Danny (Ben Mendelsohn), who threatens to reveal the family’s dark secrets and scandalous past. The trailer reveals levels of drama and character development of the same caliber as the widely-loved Netflix dramas “Orange is the New Black” and “House of Cards.”

  2. National release date: March 20
  3. Where: Netflix

Watch the trailer for "Bloodline" your next binge-watching Netflix addiction, here:

Maps To The Stars

Academy Award-winner Julianne Moore stars in “Maps to the Stars,” a satirical drama that comments on the superficial and greedy nature of the entertainment industry. Moore depicts an unraveling washed up actress in need of a personal assistant who hires former psych ward patient Agatha (Mia Wasikowska). 

The film also stars John Cusack as a celebrity therapist and Robert Pattinson as a limo driver. The script, inspired by time the writer spent as a limo driver in Beverly Hills in the 1990s, fell into the hands of Canadian director David Cronenberg and was released Friday.

  2. National release date: Feb. 27
  3. Where: Alamo Drafthouse Cinema — South Lamar

Watch the trailer for "Maps to the Stars" here:

Photo Credit: Isabella Palacios | Daily Texan Staff

When the “Are you still watching ‘Glee’?” message pops up on your TV after 10 straight hours of powering through the second season, it’s hard not to think Netflix is judging you. But maybe the movie-streaming service is just concerned. 

Under the guidance of communications professor Wei-Na Lee, UT advertising graduate students Yoon Hi Sung and Eun Yeon Kang decided to study the phenomenon of binge-watching. After surveying 316 people, they found that binge-watching behavior correlates with depression, loneliness and problems with self-regulation — the ability to tell yourself “enough is enough.” 

“Sometimes you’re focusing on the programs without eating,” Sung said. “Or maybe you’re eating too much. Sometimes you’ll forget an appointment or lose your social interactions with friends and families.”

Sung and Kang said the data don’t show whether depression causes the binge-watching or if binge-watching leads to worsening depression. During an interview, the researchers acknowledged a third possibility: Depression causes someone to binge-watch, which then deepens that depression.

It is tricky to differentiate between causes and symptoms of depression — a disease recognized as both extremely debilitating and potentially deadly — and that makes treatment difficult.

In the past, psychotherapists thought depression stemmed from past traumas and the only cure was years of drawn-out therapy to reveal the specific cause. It is now understood that, although environment plays a role in depression, there are also genetic factors. Some of the most exciting research in the field today compares the genes of unrelated people in an attempt to find genetic clues that will aid in future diagnosis and treatment of mental illness.

Technically speaking, proper diagnosis can only come from a professional psychologist working from the definition of depression the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of
Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition” (DSM-V) provides. According to the DSM-V, there are two major warning signs of depression.

When someone stops doing things that they used to enjoy, that’s a sign. For example, if a friend who used to love going out to Sixth Street on Thursday nights no longer shows any interest, then that might be cause for concern.

The other sign is a persistent sadness for at least a two-week period. Sometimes this goes away when the person is distracted by something such as schoolwork. However, if the
person defaults to unhappiness once the schoolwork is finished, then that’s an indication they may be depressed.

About 16 percent of the population experiences depression at some point, but that doesn’t mean they get the help they need.

“[Only] about a quarter of people who are depressed get adequate treatment,” said Christopher Beevers, psychology professor and director of the UT Institute for Mental Health Research. “There are a number of reasons. Access is a big one. There are some cultural differences, too, in terms of what kinds of treatment are acceptable.”

As of right now, watching 14 consecutive episodes of “Parks and Recreation” is not a warning sign of depression. Even the study’s authors admit to bouts of binge-watching — Kang likes “Prison Break” and “CSI,” and Sung watches Japanese dramas and “House of Cards” — but they advise moderation in everything.

By all means, enjoy season three of “House of Cards” at the end of the month, but, if every weekend turns into a binge-watching session, then it might be time to ask yourself if there is something more serious going on.

Clarification: This article has been amended for clarity since its original publication. Kang and Sung began their research under communications professor Wei-Na Lee.

Corporate communications senior Stephanie Robalino completed a seven-month-long virtual internship for Too Good Strategy, a business-consulting agency. Virtual internships allow students to gain experience while working remotely.
Photo Credit: Mariana Gonzalez | Daily Texan Staff

Corporate communications senior Stephanie Robalino walks out of class and heads to a nearby coffee shop. She has a few hours to kill, so she sits down and flips open her laptop. Instead of turning on Netflix or sifting through Buzzfeed articles, she rebuilds a company’s website and analyzes competitors. By the time her next class rolls around, she’s earned $30. 

Robalino is part of the trend of students across the nation working in virtual internships. From the comfort of a coffee shop between classes or her bedroom at 1 a.m., Robalino completed a seven-month-long internship for Too Good Strategy, a business-consulting agency. She helped build a new website for the company, researched competing agencies and organized her boss’ notes — all done without stepping foot in the office.

“Virtual working in general is pretty normal,” Robalino said. “You see a bunch of people working in coffee shops every day. It was a big selling point for me.”

Virtual internships allow people to gain experience while working remotely for a company. Interns communicate with their employers via email, text, Skype and other forms of digital communication. Over the past few years, websites such as and have added virtual options to their sites. 

“I’d say that it’s growing, and it’s a huge value added for students,” said Robert Vega, director of career services in the College of Liberal Arts. “You can do a virtual internship with someone, say in San Francisco or London, during the semester.”

Instead of going into the office for meetings, Robalino had weekly 20-minute phone calls with her boss and the rest of the team. She logged her 10 hours a week on an online accounting software and earned $10 an hour. 

“I wanted an unstructured environment,” Robalino said. “I like being able to work on my own time and not be tied down by certain time restrictions.”

Over the summer, journalism sophomore Jazmyn Griffin interned at an online music publication called ABScream Media, but her boss lived nearly 2,000 miles away in Boston. She interviewed musicians and wrote stories for the site at the same time she was taking summer classes at UT. 

“You get to write for a type of publication that may not be available in your area,” Griffin said. “Some people live in the middle of nowhere, so they might not have a local music magazine that they could be a part of.”    

While this type of internship eliminates commuting to work, provides flexible hours and saves companies workspace, it comes with challenges and criticisms.  

“Some of the challenges for students, especially for those where it might be their first professional opportunity, are, ‘How do you communicate with a supervisor virtually?’” Vega said. “‘How do you receive feedback? How do you become integrated into a team when you might be the only person who’s not in the office?’”    

Vega said the lack of a structured learning environment is one reason why virtual internships often do not qualify for academic credit. The College of Liberal Arts, for example, does not allow students to use their virtual internships to gain academic credit. 

Similarly, the Moody College of Communications’ website states that the “college will award academic credit for virtual internships in very rare instances.” The college reasons that “an intern left to learn by themselves … is rarely engaged in a learning experience worthy of academic credit.” Robalino was one of those exceptions and gained credit for her internship.

Even though these internships rarely qualify for credit, career services in colleges across campuses continue to promote these virtual opportunities. 

“I definitely see this as a big thing,” Robalino said. “I think that millennials are different in the way that we want more freedom out of our jobs in general.”

William Green, Information Technology Services director of networking and telecommunications, speaks at a Student Government meeting Tuesday and presents an ITS plan to double the default bandwidth allocation offered to students at no extra charge.

Photo Credit: Xintong Guo | Daily Texan Staff

Beginning in January, the University will double the amount of time students can watch Netflix on campus or study online.

The University is increasing its default bandwidth allocation, which all off-campus students are given as a part of their tuition fees, from 500 MB per week to 1 GB per week beginning Jan. 12. That is the equivalent of 600 web page views or three hours of Netflix — double the current amount — according to a University Information Technology Services network report. Students will still have the option to purchase additional bandwidth.

According to ITS, the new bandwidth policy will cost the University $215,000 a year. This increase follows an attempted policy change in August when ITS unsuccessfully tried to remove the default bandwidth allocation, which required students to purchase a bandwidth tier. 

“In the end, the community came back and said they still desired to have some default allocation for academic use,” said William Green, ITS director of networking and telecommunications. 

Bandwidth amounts for TAs will also be extended to a base of 50 GB, or 31,000 web-page visits per week. Other than doubling the default bandwidth amount, next semester the bandwidth system will be the same. Students will have the option to buy 10 GB, 50 GB, 200 GB or 500 GB of additional bandwidth for  $3, $5, $6 or $8, respectively. 

“I don’t think more Internet usage connection is ever a bad thing,” psychology sophomore Katy Giuffre said. “I don’t think it’s a big deal to have to pay for it, but I’m not going to complain if they want to give me more bandwidth for free.”

Green said students progressively needed more gigabytes of bandwidth for their academics, and that led to the switch to 1 GB of bandwidth. Green estimates about 80 percent of student Internet use is non-academic. Giuffre said she is usually studying online when she is on campus.

“It’s probably actually more academic,” Giuffre said. “Sometimes I’m on Pinterest or shopping if I have a little downtime. If I’m using my Internet connection on campus, it’s usually to study or submit papers or to find stuff on campus.” 

According to the University ITS network report, at 50 percent academic use, about 85 percent of students do not exceed their bandwidth allocation. When increased to 1 GB, almost 95 percent of students are estimated to not exceed their bandwidth use. 

The Internet will still be slowed if the 1 GB is exceeded, but Green said students can easily use Canvas and other academic sites.

“We think most basic needs are made when they exceed that bandwidth,” Green said. “Everyone has the option to purchase more bandwidth.”   

Bandwidth use is not free and unlimited because of cost and liability concerns, Green said. Since bandwidth is a service funded by student fees and tuition through the central budget, Green said if use were free past 1 GB, then students would be paying for non-academic Internet use.

“Students consume different amounts of bandwidth depending on what they are doing,” Green said. “Not saying it’s right or it’s wrong — it may or may not be related to the mission. But do you really want students to be subsidizing somebody watching Netflix?” 

Having students pay for bandwidth also protects the University from being held responsible for any illegal activity students do on campus since the students are paying for additional, non-academic bandwidth to accompany their 1 GB of academic bandwidth. 

“They may just be watching calculus videos, but they may go hack something, or they may be distributing material that is copyrighted and owned by someone else,” Green said. 

Also, allowing students to buy their own bandwidth prevents the need for the University to block non-academic websites.

“We as the University can let you do whatever you want to do, legally,” Green said.

Netflix anxiety

There’s no better procrastination tool than Netflix. But with only 24 hours in a day, it is easy to become overwhelmed by the multitude of titles available to stream on the service. There are plenty of films that ended up on Netflix simply because they weren’t going to be seen under any other circumstance — and often for good reason. After extensive research, The Daily Texan has come up with a few titles that are well worth your time.

“In Bruges” 

(2008, 107 minutes)

This release from Irish writer-director Martin McDonagh is, simply put, the best-kept secret on Netflix. Colin Farrell stars as Ray, a hit man banished to Bruges, Belgium, after accidentally killing a kid on a hit. Farrell gives perhaps his strongest performance to date here, bringing a potent mix of tenderness, regret and frustrated boredom to the character. McDonagh’s Oscar-nominated screenplay is full of quotable lines, and boasts memorable moments that are both politically incorrect and thematically appropriate. “In Bruges” tells a sordid story full of foul people, and still manages to infuse an undeniable beating heart into the blood-soaked proceedings.



(2013, 87 minutes)

Everyone with a Twitter remembers when “Sharknado” took the internet by storm. This made-for-TV schlock-fest more than lives up to its viral reputation. The tale of what happens when sharks meet tornadoes has plenty of cheesy moments, laughable performances and special effects that would be outdated in a Nintendo 64 game. Even so, the film’s final moments feature some of the most preposterous images ever, and it’s hard not to recommend a movie that so gleefully disregards the laws of physics and science.


“Side Effects” 

(2013, 105 minutes)

Steven Soderbergh’s reported retirement from cinema comes with “Side Effects,” an elaborate shell-game of a film. Structured like a psychological thriller, “Side Effects” is elevated by Rooney Mara’s fearless, engaging performance as a mentally bruised woman, whose regimen of antidepressants causes danger for the people in her life. “Side Effects” is stylishly directed, surprisingly pulpy and a memorable finale to Soderbergh’s film career.



(2007-2011, 91 episodes)

People with enough time on their hands to binge-watch an entire TV series got an early Christmas present when Netflix posted “Chuck,” one of the most charming, entertaining series in recent memory. Zachary Levi stars as a tech supporter at a technology chain store who accidentally downloads a massive supply of government secrets into his brain. While the premise is more than a little silly, “Chuck” consistently entertains with its endearingly nerdy sense of humor and a refreshing ability to reinvent itself every season. Genre fans will also be delighted to see “Firefly”’s Adam Baldwin pop up in a pivotal supporting role, as a hardened CIA agent charged with keeping Chuck safe. The show thrives on Levi’s electric chemistry with co-star Yvonne Strahovski, who plays a spy on Chuck’s team.


“Robot & Frank” 

(2012, 88 minutes)

Few films tackle the struggles of aging with the delicacy and wry humor of “Robot & Frank.” Frank Langella stars as an elderly cat burglar whose slipping memory leads his kids to get him a robot programmed to keep his mind on track. Before long, Langella recruits the robot to assist him with heists, and the story that unfolds is equal parts buddy film, crime caper and sci-fi rumination. “Robot & Frank” manages to be funny, exciting and heartbreaking all at the same time, often thanks to Langella’s graceful and sympathetic performance, which is not to be missed.

Taylor Schilling stars as Piper Chapman in Netflix's "Orange Is the New Black," a drama based on the memoir "Orange Is the New Black: My Year In A Women's Prison" by Piper Kerman.

Photo Credit: Netflix | Daily Texan Staff

From Jenji Kohan, the creator of the award-winning television series “Weeds,” comes the new Netflix original series “Orange is the New Black.” Were the show a cake, clever crude humor would be the soft cake inside, nude content the frosting and variations of the f-word being thrown around the fondant decor — this delicious cake belongs on your dessert plate.

Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) lands in an all-female federal prison for acting as an accomplice in a drug smuggling ring with her former lesbian lover Alex Vause (Laura Prepon) 10 years prior to her incarceration. She leaves her fiance Larry (Jason Biggs), pregnant best friend Polly (Maria Dizzia), and her comfortable, privileged suburban life to serve her 15-month sentence.
Although Piper prepared herself mentally for her arrival to Litchfield Prison, she quickly discovers that prison is tougher than she presumed. The jaded guards could care less about your feelings. Some inmates are scary. There’s fungus in the showers. Several inmates do befriend her, but Piper gets herself in trouble consistently in each episode, beginning with Galina “Red” Reznikov (Kate Mulgrew), an inmate who cooks and runs not only the kitchen, but seemingly a prison caste system. Let it be noted that Litchfield Prison’s inmates run the place: they cook, clean, do laundry, fix repairs, run Bible groups and yoga classes.

At the end of the pilot, Piper comes face to face with the last person she thought she’d run into in prison. Thus begins her journey.

Formerly as Nurse Veronica in the short-lived medical drama “Mercy,” Schilling lands a unique lead role in her second TV series. As Piper Chapman, Schilling is an adorable, innocent-minded woman in the wrong place. She’s got the face and the talent to be Piper “Dandelion” Chapman. She is a joy to watch and viewers will stick by her through her sentence.

Mulgrew rocks an authentic Russian personality as Red. She is one tough cookie who will make you pay and teach you a lesson if you don’t listen to her. Mulgrew gets it right. It’s hard to picture another actress in this role.
Best known for her role as redheaded Donna Pinciotti in “That ‘70s Show,” Prepon dons black hair, thick-rimmed glasses and wits as Alex, former employee of an international drug cartel. Prepon acts well and has great chemistry with Schilling.
Each episode following the pilot follows Piper as she learns the ropes from dealing with each dilemma that arises. Viewers continue to learn more about Piper, her personality and how her past coincides with her present. Additionally, each episode reveals the backstories of Piper’s inmates. They get perspectives from the other inmates and even the guards.
The writers did a wonderful job telling each plot in a cohesive manner for viewers to connect the dots about Piper and her inmates. The show focuses on the women as they form relationships within their community at Litchfield: they may have committed crimes, but they’re living to survive, too. 

There is also a small amount of sexual content among the women. Kohan isn’t shy with the camera — she captures everything to make prison authentic.

“Orange is the New Black” has a fabulous cast of diverse people and packs a punch of laughs and cries. This bittersweet show is a cake to keep indulging in. The second season will air next summer. All 13 episodes of season one are available to stream on Netflix.

Photo Credit: John Massingill | Daily Texan Staff

I was both the perfect candidate to watch and not to watch “Friday Night Lights.”

The show, which premiered in 2006 and ended in 2011, centers around life in the fictional town of Dillon, Texas. High school football is the heartbeat of Dillon, and right from the get-go the pressure is on new Panthers head coach Eric Taylor (Kyle Chandler). Win, and he’s the toast of the town. Lose, and he and his wife Tami (Connie Britton) will be moving again.

Growing up in football-crazed Austin put me in the show’s target audience. As a fan of both the book and the movie, however, I was initially wary of the show — why ruin a good thing? By the time I had come to my senses, “Friday Night Lights” had moved to NBC’s Friday slot, which was a silly thing for producers to do because those who cared about high school football spent that night in a stadium and not on a sofa.

But now, after a month-long Netflix binge, I have seen the light. I have seen small-town America reconstructed beautifully in Dillon. I have seen God, and he wears No. 33. I have, seven years too late, finally seen the perfect show.

The writers of “Friday Night Lights” did a tremendous job developing 20 or so characters, making viewers care about them and then breaking them down right in front of them. By framing each character as relatable commodities — someone we once were, someone we hope/expect to become, someone we’re scared to become and someone we know — “Friday Night Lights” does what “Lost” and “The Office” failed to do: It keeps us caring all the way to the end. The result is tears, fist-pumps and time spent lying in bed thinking, “Damn, what would I do?”

From beginning to end, tough decisions define the show. The choice between the one thing you’ve worked toward your entire life — with a superteam of an opportunity right on your doorstep — and the thing that would make a loved one the happiest. The sobering reminder that we don’t have total control of our lives, that we’re a bad break away from some stranger bathing us with a sponge. The opportunity to sacrifice a year of life so someone could have the father you never did. 

This is not a show about football. The sport is ever-present, a driving force behind many of the plot lines, but “Friday Night Lights” is deeper than that. For every cliche streets-to-stardom ascension, there’s a dark side, the bullet holes in the back. For each character who outdoes his presumed fate and does something with his life, there is a character who can’t make it out of Dillon. For every failed relationship, for every ruined marriage, there are the ones that last, Swedes and TAs be damned. 

Don’t worry, there is levity. Miracle touchdowns are scored in the final seconds of games, Mack Brown and Rick Barnes make appearances and a spontaneous trip to Mexico awaits. 

See if you notice the Matt Saracen-Case McCoy on-field similarities and the inexplicable disappearance of J.D. McCoy. Grab some tissues for the opening episodes of season four. Root hard for Smash and his mother, and prepare to hate Joe McCoy. You’ll spend 67 hours of your life binge-watching “Friday Night Lights.” I’d do it again. Texas forever, forever on Netflix. 

Printed on Thursday, April 25, 2013 as Clear eyes, full hearts, must see 

Photo Credit: John Massingill | Daily Texan Staff

It’s half past four on a smoky Saturday afternoon. You could get off your couch, but why muster all that energy when you’ve got Cheetos, enough cash to tip the pizza guy and a Netflix account? The real challenge is deciding what to watch in that vast library of streaming titles. Even the choice between old-school Cartoon Network and the edgier Adult Swim is a real head-scratcher.

We at The Daily Texan know all about those lazy afternoons spent trying to figure out what Netflix title is most appealing, and we’ve put together a list of films for couch-surfing sessions of every kind so you can focus on the important stuff — like what you want to get on that pizza you forgot to order.

For when you want to watch something gratuitously violent — “Bad Boys II” (2003, 147 minutes) — The violence isn’t the only gratuitous thing in Michael Bay’s epic cop thriller. Besides the ridiculous runtime, “Bad Boys II” features excessive profanity, crassness and moments of highbrow comedy like Martin Lawrence getting shot in the ass. Besides, what’s better than Bay-sized carnage to shake viewers from a glazed-over stupor into a glazed-over glee at watching things explode?

For when you want to have no idea what’s going on (and love it) — “Holy Motors” (2012, 115 minutes) — Leos Carax’s meditation on the nature of filmmaking and performance is a lovely little gem of a film, and its shifting perceptions of reality and identity are perfect mind-benders for anyone already expanding their consciousness. Denis Lavant gives a powerhouse performance, playing nearly a dozen different characters, and the segment where he plays a repulsive garden troll who kidnaps Eva Mendes should cause plentiful giggle fits.

For when you want to have no idea what’s going on (and hate it) — “Enter the Void” (2009, 161 minutes) — Gaspar Noe’s aggressively edited acid trip through a murdered drug dealer’s afterlife is one of the most disorienting films available on Netflix. Thankfully, the film’s neon-coated color palette, trippy drug use sequences and sexually charged finale might provoke some interesting discussions — or maybe just a hasty retreat into the hazy reality Noe’s characters are constantly chasing.

For when you want to spend two hours in a fetal position — “V/H/S” (2012, 116 minutes) — A horror anthology masterminded by director Adam Wingard, “V/H/S” packs half a dozen short shockers into a single film, making for a variety pack of terrors. Anyone prone to paranoia should probably steer clear, but “V/H/S” manages to make its scares into crowd-pleasing moments of triumph and builds to a climax that sends chills down your spine in all the right ways.

For when puppets are hilarious — “Team America: World Police” (2004, 98 minutes) — What’s not to love about puppets shouting obscenities, blowing each other up and having anatomically questionable sex? The satire from “South Park” creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone is a comedic gold mine, full of hilarious moments that are equally brazenly offensive and side-splittingly funny. Besides, let’s just admit it, puppets are hilarious.

For when you want to be filled with self-righteous indignation – “The Union: The Business Behind Getting High” (2007, 104 minutes) — Brett Harvey’s exploration of Canada’s illegal marijuana enterprise may be just what you need to finally wake up that budding social activist inside you. Plus, it’s an informative, entertaining documentary about a relevant subject, and who’s to say that you can’t learn something from Netflix too?

For when you want to be a cliche — Cheech and Chong’s “Up in Smoke” (1978, 86 minutes) — Come on, you’re more original than this, right? But if you must, “Up in Smoke” is easily the best of Cheech and Chong’s films, chronicling a cross-country road trip in a van made of marijuana. Yes, seriously.

Who’s got time to watch a whole movie, anyway? — “Archer” (2009-2012, 30 minutes) — Netflix has more movies than you can watch in a lifetime, so why not just stick to “Archer”’s 30-minute chunks of sublime comedy? Gloriously vulgar, occasionally violent and always hilarious, “Archer” is your best bet once you’ve painstakingly rejected every single film on Netflix.