"Cause out in the country, everything's country.
We got country dogs and country frogs that say ribbit.
We got country miles and country smiles.
And most of all, we all say y'all and play country music like this."
Chuck Wagon and the Wagon Wheels got it right - Texas is definitely country. So country, in fact, Texans still drive wagons and eat chuck, at least according to state Sen. Kel Seliger, R-Amarillo, who authored a bill that went before the House State Affairs Committee on Monday designating the chuck wagon the official vehicle of Texas.
Chuck wagons were how ranchers carried their food and party supplies while herding cattle back in the Old West. Basically, they were tail-gating for cowboys.
In a state that is home to three of America's four fattest cities, isn't honoring a vehicle based entirely on providing food only going to add to our "chucker" bellies?
"I don't think people gained a lot of weight on the trail eating chuck wagon food," Seliger said.
He must have been thinking of the Oregon Trail. Remember how hard it was to shoot a squirrel in that game? And all you got was five pounds of meat, which, in later versions, went rancid if you didn't eat it and gave you dysentery. No "full bellies tonight."
This ain't the Oregon Trail. We've got trucks now, and they drive on highways. Although, Seliger said highways could be expanded to accommodate wagons.
"I think it'd be a great idea. We'd add to the Texas corridor about another 400 feet, preferably cultivated in grass because you don't want your horses walking on concrete," he said.
So what does it mean to be 'the official vehicle of Texas'? Are all state officials now to be transported via chuck wagon, or because of security concerns, armored chuck wagons?
"I think the governor should have a war wagon drawn by six or eight black horses," Seliger said.
Whoa there, is he the leader of the state or the apocalypse?
But Seliger wouldn't want a wagon for his own transport. "They're pretty slow," he lamented. "If you had a choice between a wagon and a horse, the horse is better."
I also suggested to him that a useful amendment would be to make chucker hats the official headgear of Texas.
"There is no such thing," said Seliger, who's no Ashton Chucker. "We may be onto something, though."
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