 "Photo: Annie Snodgrass")
Bogus Heisman conspiracy No. 1: Mack Brown keeps giving Henry Melton goal-line touchdowns to deprive Vince Young of the Heisman and keep him around for one more year.
It's that time. With BCS controversy gone and Texas on cruise control to Pasadena, college football's second-most-important race starts to grip the focus of a hand-wringing sports nation.
Unfortunately, trying to control what happens on the field from the stands is impossible. Trying to control what happens in minds of fickle Heisman voters around the nation, while still impossible, can be utterly dizzying.
"Root for USC's LenDale White and the Trojan defense to score quickly and often, thus keeping stat-machine Reggie Bush off the field. Also, root for UCLA to lose so their game with USC won't matter as much. Also, root for Kansas coach Mark Mangino to anger Young with post-game comments for the second consecutive year. Also, root for ..."
The fact is, in the six years since Ricky Williams took home the statue in 1998, there hasn't been a single candidate as dynamic, explosive and productive as either Bush or Young, and this year there are two.
Matt Leinart and Carson Palmer were probably as talented but neither were as memorable. Ron Dayne won with longevity, Chris Weinke and Jason White won with stats, and Eric Crouch was the gritty leader of a throwback team. All great players, but none earned collective "wows" from around the nation like Bush or Young.
And in a race this tight, all there is left to do is watch, overanalyze and agonize over the prospect that someone out there can't see one or the other's superiority.
"After all, they'd have to change the pre-game animated video and give Vince his overdue chance to shoot lightning bolts at the longhorned minotaurs running into the stadium."
For example:
Bogus Heisman conspiracy No. 2: The Longhorns fell behind early against Oklahoma State on purpose so more people would tune in and see Young go wild in the comeback.
Even if he didn't, it worked.
The game set TBS record ratings for college football with a whopping 21 percent increase over USC-Stanford in 2004, and Young woke up Monday morning atop Heisman polls around the nation.
It happened because in a race for an award with unclear criteria and dependent on exposure, timing and circumstance are everything.
Consider Young's career day against Colorado, when he barely broke a sweat setting a career high with 336 passing yards on an efficient 25-of-29 passing and five total touchdowns. That night, ESPN's Sportscenter showed a 15-second clip of the game at the end of the broadcast. ESPN's Gameday Final, which followed just a half-hour later, didn't show much more.
It wasn't an East Coast bias or a bogus ESPN Heisman conspiracy to get Bush the award.
It happened because that Saturday was one of the greatest days in college football history (USC/Notre Dame, Michigan/Penn State, Wisconsin/Minnesota), and Young's blowout didn't make the cut.
When no one notices, no one votes. This leads to:
Bogus Heisman conspiracy No. 3: Dennis Franchione and Texas A&M deliberately squandered Reggie McNeal's senior season in order to hurt Young's Heisman chances.
Every Heisman winner has at least one defining play where he effectively wins the attention and awe of the nation and the award, and the timing of that play can sway everything.
Nebraska quarterback Eric Crouch won his Heisman when he caught a touchdown pass thrown by his backup, who got the ball on a reverse against Oklahoma in 2001. Michigan cornerback/receiver/return man/superman Charles Woodson won his award late in the season when he returned a punt for a score and intercepted a fourth-quarter pass in the end zone against Ohio State.
Ricky Williams' Heisman win turned into a landslide when his carry to break the rushing record went 60 yards on national TV for a touchdown against a favored rival, Texas A&M.
And although he didn't win, Bush's timing last season still got him to New York.
As the only major game on TV that day against UCLA, Bush had touchdown runs of 65 and 81 yards and suddenly became a finalist - even though both Cedric Benson (931 more rushing yards, five more touchdowns in an offense without much of a passing game) and Cal running back J.J. Arrington (2018 total rushing yards, 15 touchdowns) both deserved the trip more.
Fortunately for Young, in reach of becoming the first quarterback to throw for 3,000 yards and run for 1,000 in NCAA history, people have noticed his wealth of Heisman-like moments so far.
The latest ESPN expert poll has Young leading Bush 69-61. The Rocky Mountain News, which has accurately predicted the Heisman winner 15 of the past 18 years, also has Young in first (although curiously, the RMN poll does not include a vote from California).
Furthermore, Young has three games remaining - all three televised, two nationally. And even if Texas A&M is terrible, the rivalry game will feature Young's last chance to go head-to-head with McNeal as the biggest game that day on national TV.
Like every game this season, Young will take each of the next three games onto his shoulders and show just how dynamic he really is and just how much he means to his team.
Once more this weekend, he's got the stage.
Bogus Heisman conspiracy No. 4: Texan writers only want Young to win for a free trip to New York.
Well...
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