 "Photo: Bruno Morlan/The Daily Texan file photo")
Recovering from reconstructive knee surgery is not a lot of fun. First, I had to fight off the loopyness of being knocked out for several hours while a highly skilled surgeon sliced me open to clean out my shredded ACL and a large portion of my shattered meniscus cartilage and replace my torn ACL with a bundle of muscle fibers from my hamstring.
It was at that moment, when I woke up in the post-op recovery room, confused, hurting, tired and hungry, that I felt like an opposing quarterback trying to survive the onslaught of Texas’ defense.
I tried to run away, but the brace on my knee was locked. I looked around for help, but everyone else was either knocked out or in the same state I was.
And if you happen to play quarterback at UCF, Baylor, Kansas or Texas A&M, take note of the latest episode of “Man vs. Wild,” where Oklahoma State’s Zac Robinson channeled his inner Bear Grylls in attempt to survive a whole game against the Texas defense.
Robinson’s survival skills were top-notch, and he became the first quarterback to actually complete a game against Will Muschamp’s “legion of boom” in a long time. Robinson discovered a secret to completing a game against the Longhorns’ dastardly defense — appease them with the ball.
Instead of trying to drive deep into the mouth of the beast, Robinson smartly kept the predators at bay simply by continually throwing them the ball. Four interceptions later, his team had no chance of winning, but he had survived.
So wish me, and all the quarterbacks Texas has faced or will face, luck. Because we all have a long road to recovery.
Texas
Watching the Longhorns’ defense makes my inner-anarchist giddy. Destruction? Yes, please? And while the defense is busy dropping turnover bombs on opposing offenses, Colt McCoy finally played a game without throwing an interception.
The combination of McCoy’s dead-on aim, and the demolition induced by the defense, puts Texas above both Florida and Alabama.
Florida
While the Gators may not force the number of turnovers Texas’ explosive unit does — both Florida and Alabama have forced 10 less turnovers than the Longhorns’ 26 — it hasn’t been for lack of effort. Not only are the Gators trying to strip the ball, they are going the extra mile to make opposing running backs cough up the ball, with linebacker Brandon Spikes even sticking his fingers into a running back’s eyes.
That is dedication.
Alabama
Not only are Alabama and Florida jostling for a Southeastern Conference championship and eventual spot in the BCS national title game, but they are also competing to see whose passing attack is more inept.
Though the Tide fell behind earlier in the year with a surprising string of deep completions from Greg McElroy, Alabama’s offense has cooled off and now ranks as the 93rd best passing attack in the nation by yardage, besting Florida by three spots.
But neither one has the worst passing offense in the vaunted SEC, with four other teams ranking ahead, or behind if you aren’t an SEC homer, of the juggernauts.
TCU
UNLV: shutout. Total defense: No. 1 in the nation. TCU: really good.
The Horned Frogs are only allowing 235 yards a game to opponent’s offenses, while on offense, TCU is rushing for 233 a game. You can do the math.
Boise State
Who said Boise State’s schedule was weak? They already have a win over what will be the PAC 10 champs.
Iowa
I am beginning to think Iowa is rigging their wins, the last of which included an interception return for a touchdown after the ball ricocheted off of every eligible player on the field .
This week against Northwestern, the Hawkeyes will punt on first down every drive and defeat the Wildcats 4-2, securing the winning safety with only a few seconds left in the game.
Cincinnati
Tony Pike ... who? The Bearcats continue to cruise, regardless of who the quarterback is, or how many metal plates he has in his arm.
Oregon
Pete Carroll is having nightmares about Chip Kelly wearing the duck mascot’s head as he surgically demolishes his team of 100 five-star recruits.
Georgia Tech
Paul Johnson and Josh Nesbitt are only having a little bit of fun orchestrating the Ramblin’ Wreck’s rambling wreck.
The Yellow Jackets are rushing for more than 300 yards a game this year as they are busy destroying the ACC’s Coastal Division. The only standing between them and a spot in the ACC Championship — Duke, who has only lost one conference game.
Penn State
Two teams from the Big 10 in my top 10? This can’t be right.
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