Responsibly ditching condoms is a new trend among young couples. If that sounds like a horrifying oxymoron to you, read on:
According to testimony from Pendarvis Harshaw, an NPR Youth Radio correspondent, when a couple decides to ditch condoms, get tested for STIs and make the transition to other forms of birth control like the pill, the patch or the shot, they're not only taking a symbolic step forward in terms of sexual health, but also a leap of faith in the scheme of their relationship. As Harshaw states, sex without condoms is the modern substitute for an engagement ring.
In a 3-minute spot on NPR, Harshaw defends this new "Engagement 2.0" as a realistic replacement for an overpriced ring that, given today's divorce rates, doesn't mean much. Caring about your partner's sexual health, Harshaw believes, is the ultimate act of respect and intimacy, because "it shows trust, commitment and the prospect of a shared future." And eschewing latex is in no way a symbol of the urge to take on larger responsibilities or engage in risky behavior: "The majority [of young adults] want to steer clear of children and disease while enjoying the pleasures of healthy sex," he says.
Never has not using a condom seemed so healthy. We find Harshaw's honest and frank voice refreshing and reasonable, but many have been infuriated by his on-air essay, and his report has stirred a lively debate on NPR.com. The comment section under his piece has been inundated with responses, many of which criticize Harshaw's ideas while expressing a desire to perpetuate more traditional sexual practices. One poster anonymously wrote, "What a disgusting story. How about a radical idea - being a virgin until you get married and staying with that one person until you die."
NPR's main demographic may not be the 18-to-24-year-old set, but the generational gap that screams through the comments is indicative of the seemingly impossible reconciliation between the young and the old. Most younger commenters qualified Harshaw's point of view, offering missives of support and solidarity. "People need to get over their hang-ups on young people talking about sex and on the idea that a lot of us have an unfavorable view of marriage," one wrote. And another nearly dismissed Harshaw's account as old news: "My generation knows all too well the long walk down to the health clinic as a somewhat romantic feat, filled with a lot of the meaningfulness of a long walk down the aisle. In fact, my partner and I just made that journey last week. We considered it a great date."
Whatever the outcome of the comment war, it's heartening to see our generation talk frankly and intelligently about sex, something we don't see too often in Texas. Our state still thinks of sex as taboo, and its archaic ideas of how the topic should be broached and taught hinders its youth, as UT students themselves have proved. According to data from the 2008 UT National College Health Assessment, most UT students don't even use condoms in the first place - and not because they're "engaged." The survey reported that 27 percent of students who are sexually active reported that they "always" use condoms for vaginal sex. 15 percent said they used the withdrawal method as birth control the last time they had vaginal sex, and even though 67 percent reported that they had discussed safe sex practices, 44 percent of those respondents did not use a condom the last time they had vaginal sex. Only 30 percent of respondents had been tested for HIV.
In terms of their sexual health, UT students are playing with fire. But it's never too late - or too early - to become educated. UT offers extensive sex education services through University Health Services. The sooner you learn about and become comfortable with the topic of sex, the sooner you can make the choice to become engaged in whatever way you please.
Be the first to comment on this article!