Dick Cheney plays dirty. His shrewd political maneuvering has brought new powers to the office of the vice president. Last week, his office refused a mandatory on-site inspection by the Information Security Oversight Office, claiming that the vice president's office need not comply because it is not fully part of the executive branch.
True to form, the president's staff was quick to point out that the executive order that requires all members of the executive branch to file with the National Archive and Record Administration was not meant to apply to the vice president - they just forgot to write that exemption into the executive order.
But we should be used to this kind of politics from the executive branch. For example, Bush has signed hundreds of bills into law in the years that he has been smashing our beautiful country in the face with a sock full of nickels. But with his signature comes his signing statements. Signing statements are normal, but Bush's signing statements are unique. They tend to say something along the lines of, "While I have signed this bill, my office and the office of my dark lord and master Dick Cheney will not be bound to execute or obey these laws." As they try to model their rule on totalitarianism, they have often been forced to undermine or ignore the laws of the U.S. - laws Bush signed.
Then there's Scooter Libby - the Count Dooku to Dick Cheney's Emperor Palpatine. Libby was convicted in March of obstruction of justice and perjury in connection with an investigation into the leak of CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity. The exposure was retaliation for her husband, Joseph Wilson's, opposition to Bush's claim that Saddam Hussein attempted to buy uranium - the mind control Cheney used to accomplish this nefarious feat is no secret.
Scooter Libby committed a little perjury and obstructed a little justice to impress Cheney, proving he can be evil too.
Maybe Scooter realized he was in over his head when Cheney shot his hunting buddy in the face a few months later.
No move towards totalitarianism is complete without spying on your own people - hence, the National Security Agency's domestic surveillance program, implemented shortly after Sept. 11. In a testimony last month, former Deputy Attorney General James B. Comey told a story of a harrowing car race to the bedside of sick Attorney General John Ashcroft to prepare him for an onslaught by Alberto Gonzales and Bush Chief of Staff Andrew Card to get him to sign off on the legality of domestic wiretaps. Ashcroft refused to sign the executive order, and his Department of Justice maintained these wiretaps were illegal. The White House still issued the executive order the next day - legality be damned.
As Emperor Cheney and Darth Bush try to throw off the shackles of democracy, a bumbling group of Jedi has emerged. The Senate finally sees political profit in attacking the illegal actions of the president and vice president. Wednesday, the Senate Judiciary Committee subpoenaed the White House, Justice Department and the vice president's office for files explaining the administration's position on the legality of domestic wiretaps. Until now, the investigation has relied on the good will of administration officials who have volunteered to be interviewed, as long as they aren't under oath.
Here is what to expect if Cheney has to testify: He may suddenly revert to the executive branch and, citing executive privilege, refuse to testify. There will be a showdown in federal court, and finally he will be required to testify in front of the Senate.
The winner will determine the fate of the country - may the Force be with us all.
Miracle is a physics graduate student.
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