Dear OU,
It’s our understanding that we will be participating in a football match with you in the near future. We’re certainly delighted and wish you the best of luck. We would like to do anything we can to accommodate you as you visit us in our great state.
Really, could we spot you a skill position player or two? Perhaps an offensive line? What about a victory in a BCS bowl?
Anything at all — we strive to be great hosts.
We still humbly feel that we were more deserving of that spot in the national championship game last year and are taking every precaution this season to ensure that we will make it to Pasadena. Naturally, one tremendous obstacle we face is our game against your fine university, namely the negative impact it will have on our strength of schedule. Luckily, we have UTEP to balance that aspect of the BCS formula for us — at least they’ve beaten a ranked team.
Texas, like any other state, has been struggling with the economy. We thus sincerely thank the fans at your institution for making tickets available to the game on your side of the field for such bargain prices. Additionally, we thank you for all of our logos that you purchase and place upside down (we really do appreciate the royalties). But we do feel your money might be better spent purchasing players … oh, it seems you’ve already done that, which is why your program is on probation right now.
When it comes down to it, we still don’t quite understand why there is such animosity between our schools. I mean, after all, we have a lot in common. For example, we all applied to the University of Texas out of high school.
But we should really distance ourselves from these petty insults. It gets really old tossing around unfortunate observations about the poor dental hygiene of Oklahomans, the constant embarrassment you cause our conference on the national stage, your inferior academic rankings across all disciplines, the inability to field a team with athletes actually from Oklahoma and the fact that your state polluted the world by offering it Reba McEntire.
We’re ready to move beyond this childish name-calling and simply accept you as the second-highest-ranked university in a state founded by land thieves.
We’re expecting a fun and sportsmanlike match and are truly hoping this will serve as a good tune-up game for us before we play Central Florida in a few weeks. Of course, some of our fans, still enchanted with your lofty and undoubtedly deserved pre-season ranking, may be dismayed by the actual skill level of your team. Just know that when we chant our fight song, we’re not shouting “OU sucks!” but rather, in a surprised sense, “Oh, you suck?”
When you do leave Dallas disappointed, know that you’ll have 45,000 burnt-orange faithful wishing you a safe trip back up Interstate Highway 35. We hope your band of duct-taped 1980 Ford Pintos are able to make the trip back.
Good luck in the game. Hook ’em horns!
— Hugs and kisses,
The Daily Texan
Dear UT,
Hello to all you hippies, nerds, cowboys and criminals down there in Austin.
We too have heard some murmurings about an upcoming football matchup, and we are looking forward to it.
Sure, we’ve had a tough go of it so far this season. We’ll readily admit a 3-2 start is not what any of us expected. But the season is young, and there’s a lot of football left.
We remember feeling blue after a tough loss last season. Things looked bleak as our national championship hopes began to fade. But then with one reception and a magical touchdown in last year’s Texas Tech-UT game, something changed.
We don’t know exactly how to describe it, but we’ll do our best. It was like “we dreamed it in our heads.” Weird.
Anyway, we wouldn’t be too upset about your loss to Texas Tech last year. After all, the Red Raiders were really good, and you fought really hard. They almost beat everyone they played. Almost.
But that was last year. This year is a little different. Quite honestly, we’re not used to being the underdogs. With the most wins since World War II, seven national championships, six Big 12 titles in the last decade and five Heisman Trophy winners, how could we be?
Oh, and speaking of the Heisman Trophy, we have a funny story. OU quarterback Sam Bradford won it last year. That made us giggle.
Now don’t get us wrong, Colt McCoy is really good, especially when he’s got his good ol’ fishin’ buddy Jordan Shipley by his side. Honestly, we hadn’t heard anything about how Colt and Jordan are so close until last weekend, when the commentators of the Colorado-UT football game let us in on a very well-kept secret: Colt and Jordan are fishin’ buddies!
We couldn’t believe our ears! Two teammates who are also fishin’ buddies!? Who’da thunk it?
We heard that one time Jordan even hopped on a boat and Colt done did throw him a football from the shore? That made us giggly giggle too!
But let’s put football aside for a second.
While we don’t doubt that everything in your editorial was well researched, we do take issue with one statement. You said that “we all applied to the University of Texas out of high school.”
We think you might be taking for granted that everybody aspires to attend a massive university that provides its students with little to no personal attention in a big city. Personally speaking, we like OU.
A lot.
Here’s why: It’s located in a relatively small college town that doesn’t feature maddeningly molasses-like traffic. We actually know our professors, and we know or at least recognize most of the other students in our majors. We can walk anywhere on campus in less than 30 minutes. The price of living isn’t astronomical. And even though Norman is a smaller city, we are only 30 minutes away from a large metropolitan one.
These are just a few of the many reasons why we chose to attend OU. And as a university, we would like to thank the good ol’ Lone Star State for oh-so graciously giving us some of its best and brightest.
Good luck in the game. BOOMER SOONER!
— The Oklahoma Daily
54 comments
hook em
Please, I'm begging you- we'll make it competitive this time.
This is for all those well-educate UT students (and most OU fans) that can't tell you what a Sooners is.
During the Oklahoma land run, those who entered Oklahoma territory "before the firing of the cannon at 12 noon" earned the name of Sooner.
Those that weight and made the dash as the gun went off where referred to as Boomers.
Myself, being born and bred in the great state of Oklahoma, have no favorite in the upcoming football match. Other than they do damage to each other, so my OSU Cowboys will then benefit in future contests.
True, our state has is short falls, but I am certain that more State have actually been to a college campus for something other than a football game.
Ridem' Cowboys