 "Photo: Bryant Haertlein")
Four years ago at Bouchon - Thomas Keller's bistro in Yountville, Calif. - I was dining with my thesis adviser. The meal was ending, and the waiter asked if we would like dessert. I hesitated, not knowing if it was rude to order dessert on my professor's tab, but he encouraged me.
"If you get dessert, I can order cheese," he said.
Cheese for dessert? That was new to me. I ordered the mousse, and my adviser ordered cheese.
"Do you have a cheese with legs?" he asked.
"Legs?" the waiter asked.
"Legs - so ripe you have to worry about it getting up and waking away," he replied.
"Uh, the Camembert is pretty stinky," the waiter said.
"Camembert? That is awfully tame. Oh well, bring me the cheese plate," my adviser said.
I decided then and there I would find out what these walking cheeses were all about. Back in Austin, I went to Central Market and found some goat cheese in a foil wrapper. Touching the wrapper caused my fingers to stink for days. The package oozed, and I decided this was the ripe and stinky cheese my adviser had been hoping for at the bistro in Yountville. On the way out of Central Market, I ran into my adviser and showed him my find. He held it to his face and wrinkled his nose at it.
"That should do," he said.
In the last four years, I have started to explore cheese more in-depth. Over the weekend I expanded my knowledge of fromage with the help of cheesemonger Forrest Allen. Allen sells cheese at a natural food store and has been working with cheese for nine years. He suggested that I build up my tasting vocabulary.
"I first developed a vocabulary to accompany my personal sensations when eating," Allen said. "Whatever you are tasting say it, from there you can develop a vocabulary."
My current cheese vocabulary includes creamy, stinky, dirty-socks, velvety and awesome. I put these together into a cheese sentence: This cheese stinks of dirty-sock and has a creamy, velvety texture. It's awesome.
Right now, cheeses with those characteristics are my favorite. But Allen explained that I would be remiss to limit myself to a particular flavor of cheese year round.
"You have to pick the best cheeses at that moment," he said. "Sometimes I won't pick my favorite cheeses because they aren't ripe enough or it's not the right time of year. I go with seasonality first, even though out-of-season cheeses can taste pretty good."
Most people are aware of seasonal vegetables, but to some, seasonal cheeses are a strange concept. First of all, cheese is not a vegetable. With that in mind, the best way to figure out what cheese is in season is to ask the person selling you the cheese, your friendly neighborhood cheesemonger.
"Right now, what's coming into season are goat cheeses and blue cheeses," Allen said. "Spring and summer are notable for the producers who manufacture these cheeses. Their animals have just had babies, and they are feeding them off of this milk. Right when the babies don't need the milk anymore, their mother is going to be giving off a super-rich, dense, beautiful milk. It is made for sustaining life, and it is at its fullest and richest point. This time of year those cheeses are being made out of this type of milk, and it is just gorgeous."
Go out and get some goat cheese and some blue cheese. My favorite cheese department in town is at Whole Foods. The cheesemongers there are willing to share their comprehensive dairy wisdom. They are happy to let customers taste the cheeses before they buy and will often direct you with suggestions such as, "If you like that cheese, try this one."
Buy some Caprifieuille, which they keep inside the glass case at the Whole Foods cheese counter. Cut a few rounds, and place it on a piece of hearty bread. Toast it for a short time, and drizzle with light honey. Now close your eyes and eat this delightful treat. I wish I could take credit for this, but I cannot. This snack was described to me by another cheese peddler. Talking to cheesemongers will improve your life. It has surely improved mine.
Finally, I leave you with a few cheese suggestions of my own. Never eat cold cheese; the flavors do not fully manifest until it has reached room temperature (more priceless cheesemonger wisdom). Pure Luck makes fantastic goat cheeses. Look for their blue cheese called "Hopelessly Blue." My year-round favorite after-dinner-with-a-glass-of-red-wine cheese is Epoisses. This cheese has legs, but do not be fooled by the old shoe smell. One bite and you may be tempted to find out if your dirty socks have such a supple tang as this French import.
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