There were murmurs that James, down the hall, was sick with swine flu. Which James? With uncharacteristic fearlessness, I made it my business to find out.
He answered the door. “Are you Swine-Flu James?” I inquired with as much tact as I could muster without inhaling. “Yes, but I feel fine,” he said, not sounding entirely convincing.
Turns out he’s completely new to all forms of flu — a flubie — and has never even had a normal, seasonal case of the flu. If that had been the case this time around, there would’ve been considerably less noise. Instead, he’s been strictly quarantined to his bedroom and given the most unfriendly label of “H1N1 positive.”
People digest the threat of swine flu differently. As a result, two distinct categories of people have emerged. First, there is the brash, dismissive group that waves off the threat of viral infection and shoots down anyone who expresses an inkling of concern.
Then, there are those who can be heard before they are seen, with multiple keychain-sized bottles of hand sanitizer rattling unfashionably from every one of their backpack straps. They berate coughers and verbally destroy repeat offenders who forget to sneeze into their elbows. They lift their shirts to cover their mouths while riding public transportation. They try very hard not to breathe.
The rest of us fall somewhere between these two extremes: We’d rather not get swine flu but see it more as a mucus-intensive inconvenience than a death sentence.
With cases of H1N1 expected to occur on college campuses nationwide this semester, it’s time to address swine-flu etiquette: a few basics for everyone to keep in mind. Flubies especially.
Alcohol-based hand sanitizer
“One squeeze will prevent disease,” a poster on the wall in Kinsolving Dining Center informs patrons. The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta backs up this claim: “Alcohols are effective against human influenza viruses if used in proper concentration for a sufficient length of time,” it reports. Non-alcohol based sanitizer, they say, should inspire less confidence.
The federal agency’s copywriters had good reason to keep things vague; you’d be shocked to learn what people will use to sanitize their hands. In a quick skim of Web-posted comments on online articles warning of the dangers of alcohol-based sanitizer, readers touted as alternative antiseptics grapefruit seed extract, squirts of vodka and even human urine.
Experts agree, though, that hand-washing is always preferable to all hand sanitizer. The University’s Healthy Horns Web site links readers to an instructional video titled “Hands Together” about proper hand-washing procedure, provided by the CDC.
The bottom line: Whether or not you washed your hands is not usually detectable, but if you’re the irresponsible sort who turns down a squirt of hand sanitizer because it’s smelly and cold, you need to reform your ways.
Coughing and sneezing
This goes hand-in-hand with hand hygiene. The facts: The spread of the 2009 H1N1 virus is thought to occur in the same way that seasonal flu spreads from person to person, through people with influenza who cough or sneeze.
The new fad seems to be to cough into your elbow. Health-care officials at the CDC support this practice, and so should you.
Roommates
Strangely, the situation that seems to have the least amount of official protocol but requires the most energetic and dedicated display of civility is infection among roommates. James, who had a roommate before swine flu struck, still has one now. When I walked into the quarantined room, the roommate sat calmly at his desk, undisturbed by imminent illness all around him.
“My dad told me to take four of these with meals,” he said as he pulled out huge orange-flavored Vitamin C pills. “I’ve sort of accepted that I’m going to get it.”
Resigned to catching the flu, he has not insisted that James sleep in the dorm hallway. The take-away message if your roommate is sick: bonne chance.
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