Why do I have sex? Well, as Sexy Sally said yesterday, it’s fun and it’s natural. Sex is a major part of who we are, and finding out more about ourselves.
But, we live in a heteronormative society where the topic of gay sex is often taboo. Schools refuse to teach it. Some people view it as barbaric, and unfortunately, many people associate it with HIV.
Imagine trying to learn about gay sex in a world that generally fails to understand it. As a teenager, the lack of information created a strange mix of curiosity and fear. Every adolescent has questions about sex, and most go unanswered in the state of Texas' public school system. But, for a gay kid trying to learn about his or her sexuality, the answers are hard to find anywhere, much less in a classroom.
So, I came to college as a virgin (depending on your definition). Other than some foreplay, I was completely ignorant about sex. I lacked the proper education. I remember thinking that I would contract a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) if I hooked up with somebody from Grindr, and that I would get date raped if I went out on 4th street.
When my curiosities finally trumped my fears, I was amazed at how natural everything felt. Sex was fun, a bit painful, but mostly exhilarating. Don’t get me wrong, it took me awhile to get good at it, but I faked it until then.
After I started having sex, I realized the unnecessary stigmas against two men or two women having sex. The same physical and emotional connections exist, and the pleasure is definitely there. Like I said in my first column, sex is sex. It is a major part of life for everybody, homosexual or not.
So why do I have sex? I have sex because I can. I can have sex without fear of societal stigma. I no longer fear an STI every time I hook up with a guy, but I'm aware that it's a possibility, so I take precautions.
Sex is a part of me. It's a part of you. Embrace it.
Correction: an earlier version of this article misspelled the word "time" as the "team in the sentence "I no longer fear an STI every time I hook up with a guy."