Editor's note: In this weekly sex column, four columnists discuss their different sexual experiences relating to a common theme. Fabulous Frank runs every Wednesday evening.
My first kiss happened about a minute before my first blowjob. Well, that’s if you don’t count the time I kissed a girl in kindergarten. I was confused.
Back to the good stuff – I was 14, and my freshman year had exposed me to more diversity, and notably, to others like myself. My first high school friend was a junior lesbian, Kai*, and we hit it off immediately. She let me take my time coming out, all the while conspiring to set me up with her ex-boyfriend from her freshman year, Nick. About three months into the school year, I told her I was gay, and that’s where this story really begins.
I grew up in a small, conservative community, which early on ingrained hetero-normal views. Coming out to Kai was unsettling and intriguing to me. When she told me Nick thought I was cute, the intrigue led to desires...sexual desires.
Nick was one of two fully “out” boys in our high school. His bravery, maturity and seniority attracted me from the first time we sat across from each other in debate class. He was my Aaron Samuels, sans the incredibly good looks, though he did have amazing hair in its own right.
With Kai forcefully fostering our relationship, he got my number and we started texting consistently. Texting lead to sexting because two hormonal teenage boys are involved.
Let’s take a moment to pause and reflect on sexting in the year 2006. There were no iPhones with cute and fitting emojis, and the general etiquette hadn’t really formed. (Yes, there is now “sextiquette”). Needless to say, my Motorola flip-phone sexts were about as embarrassing as they come. Pair that with my inexperience and bam, you have the perfect recipe for disaster.
Apparently, Nick thought my naïve texts were endearing, and he suggested we “hang out” that night. Half an hour after my parents went to bed, I snuck him over to my room, which easily qualified me to work for the CIA. I had to stealthily sneak past multiple guard dogs in the neighborhood and bust the screen out of my window, which was a sacrifice I was willing to make. Suddenly he was sitting on my bed.
I know he could sense my inexperience. He initiated the kissing and complimented my skills. I must’ve really sucked because about a minute later he was sucking something else.
That was my welcome into gay sex culture. Things move at a rapid pace. When Nick left that night, I understood my idealized Cinderella dream didn’t match up with reality. We probably moved too fast, but do you blame us? We were two very horny teenagers.
Like Sexy Sally, my first kiss allowed me to gain an understanding of my sexuality. Luckily, I’ve acquired a bit more experience over the last seven years, and the iPhone has significantly helped my sexting game. As a gay man, I now also understand that a kiss tends to carry other expectations, though that isn’t always the case. All of these realizations started with my first kiss.
Turns out, Nick wasn’t my Aaron Samuels, but he played a big role in my life, and he went on to do great things. So, thanks for the kiss, Nick. I hope male stripping is treating you well.
*some names have been changed to protect the identity of the author and others.
Check out Committed Caroline's first kiss story tomorrow.