“The night is always darkest before the dawn.” — Batman
The proud nation of Texas has fallen on perhaps the hardest times it has ever faced in its one million year history as a country. Let's not confuse the issue, we Texans are a strong people who could probably withstand anything. In the entire world. But all of us, like the famed Trojan warrior Achilles, have a weakness. And that is our food.
Since the Great Blue Bell Crisis of 2015, Texans have been suffering, bleeding, for two long months. And now that Whataburger has announced shortened breakfast hours, I don’t know how much more we can take. Our strong bodies and minds need the enriching sustenance of ice cream and early morning tacos. In this rare moment of weakness, I ask you this: where are our politicians?
It has been 59 days since Texas store owners began removing our nectar of the gods, otherwise known as Blue Bell Ice Cream, from store shelves. That’s 59 days too long. And how did our "leaders" respond to this? The FDA had to go launch an investigation into Blue Bell. If you were to believe them, this most Texan of dessert companier knew about the listeria outbreak and chose to ship the cartons anyway. Who would you believe: Bluebell or Obama?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
When Whataburger announced its severely shortened breakfast hours on Monday, I swear I felt an angry rumble of Texans' tummies roar across the Texas hill country. Before yesterday, you would have had to take my 11p.m. honey butter chicken biscuit from my cold, dead hands.
Where, in these most trying of times, is Gov. Abbott, I ask you? We are but children in this world without breakfast taquitos. Yet, Gov. Abbott remains locked away in his Governor’s Mansion, as out of reach with the Texas people as Whata breakfast burritos are from me right now.
Apparently, Gov. Abbott is too busy wining and dining fat cat Whataburger lobbyists to give a thought to our problems. To all the leaders who cut a deal on my HBCB game and cut hard-working Texans out, all I have to say this: I’ll keep my guns, religion and Whataburger, you keep the change.
Now, I’m not an educated woman. I’ve only been to two countries in my life (the United States of America and Texas) but I know right from wrong. Where are our leaders?